One. Day. At. A. Time.
Or in my case, one MOMENT at a time.
Lots of deep breaths.
Lots of quickly brushed away tears.
And currently, an iced coffee that I forgot to order as decaf, sorry baby.
This morning my car got towed. $90.
I have a second round job interview in 3.5 hours. My belly has outgrown all my work pants, so I’m about to start the search for *professional meets I’m 6 months pregnant* look. A dress and blazer maybe?
I’m feeling the pressure of a thousand unknowns. Anger at being in this situation. Anger that I felt strongly about not terminating my pregnancy but that choosing to continue the pregnancy greatly alters my marketability in job interviews while my ex remains unchanged and employed and that having the baby alone and with only 3 months to get an apartment and a stocked nursery and stay on top of my bills…it all adds up.
Yet, I did choose this. We got pregnant, and I chose to follow my gut and keep the pregnancy even though it’s not the easy, convenient, or even fun path right now. I know I will love my daughter and my life will change for the better in many ways after she is born. But right now, it’s hard to see past all the unknowns.
It gives me that much more of a reason to amp up my online business so that I can provide for myself without the worry of a 9-5 clock in clock out corporate job. I am working on building little bits of consistency in my life and this week, that means posting on this blog daily, and also eating well, getting enough sleep, and spending 1-1 time with my baby.
Today, I’m encouraging myself to dwell on the positive things in my life right now, and if you’re in a tough situation as well, I send that same encouragement to you.
I’ll list 5 things that are going RIGHT in my life right now, and if you’re reading, share your 5 things in the comments below 🙂
- My baby is healthy and growing
- I have enough energy to get through the day
- I have a laptop, printer, internet connection and car..all I need to market myself and grow my at home business
- I have friends who do care about me
- I am slowly changing my mind and the depressive thoughts are fading slowly into the distance, without medication.
Now, off to find an outfit for this interview.